Yes, I’m still laying them.
I didn’t manage to finish over Easter. In all there will be 309 tiles and I have 90 still to do. You can tell by the numbers game that I am now at the stage where the laying of one more tile is cause for rejoicing! My knees are begging for this to be over (yes, I am wearing kneepads).
At first, I was utterly pedantic about them being totally flat in all directions and everything was going swimmingly until I realised that the cement was getting thicker and there was a slight slope upwards. This I tried to rectify with a slight slope back down again and that’s where everything started to get complicated coz you’ve got to join tiles on to the redirection and they have to be level with each other as well.
It may seem like a three dimensional job: lines straight in two directions and levelness (we’ll leave time out for the moment) but the reality is that you are looking at it from far more than three angles. Levelness left and right is one thing, but there is the diagonal as well. And then you’d better check that, although it is flat as far as the level is concerned, is the tile level on its own or have you got a dip in one corner which doesn’t show up with the level. You need to check this in all three directions as well. So for every tile there is about nine checks to make.
Then I realised that as I tamped in the next tile, the previous one was shifting a bit and all the checks had to start again…
That’s when it happened!
I got the answer, or rather, I heard the voice in my head, “Luke, Luke, use the Force, Luke.”
“What?”
“Use the Force!”
Now, I don’t know about you, but I figure that if the likes of one as eminent as Obi-Wan should take time out from managing the Universe and traing the future generation of Jedi, then it would be churlish of me not to listen!
I stared at the tiles before me and moved away the spirit level, yes, I thought, I can do this. I laid the cement with feeling, place the tiles and tamped them in running my fingers along the edge with its neighbour. Tamp, tamp. I could feel it coming into place. Then the next, then a row of four. Yes, it felt good. Tamp, tamp. This is it! I’m getting it. I checked with the level – it was pretty close! The level showed which tile was slightly dipped or raised but, on the whole, it was a lot better than I’d expected!
It speeded up my laying time, anyway. And, as my friend Sally said, “You’re going for rustic, aren’t you? Who ever heard of a rustic floor being completely flat?” I’m happy to go along with that.
Mind you, if Obi-Wan turned up he’d take one look and say, “Hmm…, you’re not Luke, are you.”